The Letter.....

I was so conscious of his presence even though he was standing far away. All the time waiting, his eyes would fall on me. My discomfort and uneasiness was showing in my conversation with the person sitting next to me. Each of his move and lip movement were getting noticed. There was a turmoil inside me, should I or should I not!! My palms were sweaty holding the letter. The letter which had my feelings written for him. I long waited for the right moment and here it was. So this was it, my mind was set, he needs to know, whats going on in my mind. I had gathered courage and wrote in the form of a letter which he can read away from me. I was too nervous to say it in front of him. I thought he was aware but he showed no signs. I had tried earlier in different ways, was he that dumb or was pretending to be? Thats when I decided I must do something, see his reaction. I was ready for any answer. Then the letter was created where love was expressed in a poetry form.
           Time was running fast. My whole attention was on him with a room full of people. I hated the person whom he was talking to. Why wasn't he letting him go? And then he turned....our eyes met...he started coming towards me......My heart was beating so fast. He seemed calm and said hi. I nervously replied. Inside there was a voice telling me, come on, give the letter. I continued talking on general things. My palms kept crushing it. And then he left..That gave such a big blow to me. My feelings in the letter was still in my hand. Then and there I got up and threw it in the dustbin and left...The right place for it.!!!

Hatto saamne se............

Ye Hindi TV serials ne toh aajkal romance hi khatam kar diya!! Ladies apni family bhool kar TV families ko yaad rakhti  hain...Pati ne kahaa ' Memsaab, Ek cup chai milegi?' ,Aur biwi ne ulta kahaa..kabhi toh chain se dekhne diya karo, poora din ghar ka kaam kar ke ab thoda time mila aur tum ho ki.....'Arey, ye kyaa bol rahi ho? Pati ne jhatt se kahaa...TV toh ghar main hi thaa...pehle nahi dekh sakti thee....?'
               Bas yuhin chalta rehta hain nok jhonk....Phir jo chipkaav hai favorite serial ka, wait ho rahi hain, kab hero heroine ko ' I Love You ' bole....mahino, saal lag jaate, villian pe villian aa jaate par vo nahi hota jo hona chahiye..........Isi beech..shopping jaari rehti  hain , naye fashion ki dresses jo serials main dikhaye jaa rahi hain.
         Pati phir koshish karta hain...TV ke saamne khadaa ho jaata hain....Itne main biwi chillati hain  "Hatto saamne se?" Pati kehta hain, koi toh mujhe pooch nahi rahaa, mere hi ghar main. Kitna thaka haara aata hun, office se...Phir awaaz aati hain vo bhi break main, aji doosre kamre main chillao, mujhe disturb mat karo....
      Toh ye haal ho rahe hain.......phir Pati logon ko majbooran apna Blackberry nikalna hota hai , samachar.com padhna padta hain, facebook, email check karna padta hain, jo unhe apni duniya main le jaata hain......Yehi hain ghar ghar ki kahani......TV serials ke saath!!!
         

Beautiful we are......

Mirror can be a friend or a foe, depending on how you look at yourself on it. Women adorn themselves and feel pretty admiring their beauty. They try hard ,whatever their age is, by being trendy and fashionable.What actually they are decorating is a mere body, made of flesh and blood which is so temporary. That, which changes every minute and deteriorates with age. Still people spend so much time, energy and wealth on it as if its going to be the same always. It also creates low self esteem for young girls who think they do not have a beautiful body and superiority complex to people who think they have one. Mirror only shows what you are not. It is actually your friend that reminds you of the truth and tells you that you need to focus on the inner beauty which you cannot see and do your self development. If  inner beauty becomes the outer beauty and vice versa, how would you be!!! That could be your wake up call. Take out some time just to be yourself everyday.

My Own world !!!!

The most comfortable place I have is in me....

My thoughts, where no one can intrude,

My vivid imagination of all my favorite things,

Where my Hero resides,

His teachings constantly reminding me of what should be done

To be on the move

To console me and encourage me when I am down

To love and cajole me when I falter in my steps

My deep respect to my Teacher, my Father, my Guru

Dear Sirshree, I love You!!!

Look at Me!!

Days go by
   anticipating, that just one glance of yours would make my day,
      trying to get attention in any way and get you out from
                 your usual addiction of all screen gadgets........
                       If only you could have realized there is a living person always with you
      looking for appreciation, comfort and love,
 The relation we formed when we first met,
     the feeling which we used to have, so fresh..and full of pleasant surprises,
I wish..once again.....to feel that way...for ever n ever!!!!

                                                      

The Window!!!

Everyday I sit at  the same spot where all my favorite things are within my reach. I chose a spot just next to The Window. Thats my view to the outside world. A different scene is waiting for me everyday. Just like a movie which is endless. I see beautiful meadows from one corner to the next, meeting the sky just like sea. There is a stable where kids come for horse riding. Sometimes the view is so splendid, I can even see how the Sun plays with the clouds, a game of light and shadow. During storm, the dark clouds spread their beauty and clouds thunder as if to warn us of its arrival. There is a gulch where there a small pond, home to some migrating birds. Some neighboring kids, mostly the curious ones,  hover around it. There is only one tree which is dry, a witness to so many years. If only it could speak, we would know all the stories of its existence. Snowy days are so refreshing. The landscape completely changes into white. I find footprints on the dry snow of some animals like Coyote's and Bunnies. You can hear Coyotes howling at night when they go hunting for food in the same meadow.Sunset is so beautiful, Sky gradually becomes orange to pink and purple to dark blue.
       Lately there has been a lot of constructions. They built a road which has gone quite busy with the traffic. There are some yellow trucks smoothening the land making it ready to build houses too. The once plain land is now housing so many people and would continue to do so. Do we ever have the feeling of gratitude for what God has given us?
            

The Addiction...

Its funny to observe how addiction is formed. We first start a thing and if we like it, we repeat it few times and then it grows into a habit which later becomes an addiction. And ...finally we become a slave to our senses. Just to blindly follow how your senses do the past programming is funny unless you consciously watch what you are doing and then poof....your addiction is gone...

Strange Connection!!!!

Last year during 'Guru Purnima' we went to Taos, NM. We were about to cancel our trip and did too. Inspite of canceling we still had our hotel bookings so we thought its a call from Hanumanji. We packed and left reaching there about 7pm. This was the time when they chant the Guru mantra through out the night. Reaching Hanuman mandir in Taos is like reaching home. You can feel such powerful vibes in and around the temple. Everyone's busy doing what they are assigned to do by Baba. Chanting had already started, some were inside the room and some standing near dhuni, feeling the heat of the burning wood and chanting with music as well. Its such a friendly and spiritual environment, you get engulfed in it. The musical chanting gets into everyone and many of them get into trance. It was getting late and my friends and hubby wanted to go to the hotel to take rest. I refused as I didn't want to let go the beautiful, charged up room. I continued to be there and enjoyed to be with the One. Slowly very few singers were left as it was getting late. I then noticed an indian lady sitting right besides me with two small kids, equally focussed in chanting. We both never looked at each other but it seemed we were tuned with Baba. Her kids were getting disturbed and were not able to sleep. It was cold and I had a big shawl with me in case I needed to sleep there. Looking at the uneasy kids I was about to offer my shawl when she asked me, if I could share my shawl. Wow!!! I was speechless! It sure was an intuition. Both kids then slept soundly cuddled in that warm shawl and we continued our chanting. Later , the next day I got the shawl back and on asking where she lives. I found that she was my neighbor. Strange are the ways of God. Since then we have been very good friends and went together to Taos few times. Last trip with her I even found out that there was a strange connection with her. Her older sister had worked with my husband many years back in India.

Man in the Ashram!!!

It was cold and beautiful day when we started to drive for Crestone. We were fully equipped with food and tea and took a break in the midst of the mountains. Took some pictures of the nature embracing us with love and beauty.The majestic mountains showed its magnanimity and yet a feeling of warmth,giving shelter to all the species residing on it. We couldn't take our eyes off the nature and the journey went in a jiffy. That makes me ponder how insignificant we are in front of this vast nature and still we refuse we admire and appreciate what God has given us. After 4 hours of this beautiful ride going on the bumpy road we finally reached the 'Haidakhan Baba Ashram'. It is located on the mountain with few other spiritual centers in Crestone, CO. The moment we got out, I breathed the fresh mountain air and felt the mountain valley welcoming us. Whichever direction my eyes lead me, there were huge mountains. We were three families all excited to spend our free time with each other, nature and God. We went to the temple first which was a beautiful hall, whose door had a stained glass picture of a person with open arms. The hall has a beautiful life size statue of Lakshmi Devi. We sat there and felt the beautiful Silence, That which reflects God. It was so peaceful, calm and magnetic environment. Then we went to the kitchen where we were greeted by Jonathan, who works there. Jonathan has been a caretaker of the Ashram since last 7 yrs. He is a medium built person, slow walker, white hair. he wears Indian clothes. His serene face was full of thick wrinkles. His smiling,twinkling eyes made us feel at home. His personality posed only one question 'What on earth is making him lead this life...away from the maddening crowd?' We kept observing him, he made himself his breakfast which was a kind of juice of spinach, honey and what not. It did not look very appetizing to me. Since we were so curious, we asked all kinds of questions to him and he happily enjoyed answering them. He had difficulty in remembering our names. We then left for the Ashram which had a huge room having 8 single beds. It started snowing too outside and Jonathan lit up the fireplace which was at the entrance of the Ashram. We all cuddled up near the fireplace, feeling the heat coming out of the crackling woods. Time stood still, we didn't even feel like sleeping on our beds in the room. We got pillows and a blanket and started sharing our experiences, mostly spiritual ones. Jonathan came out of his room since our voices were getting louder. Later he too joined with us in sharing and listening. His story was so strange, how he got into this. We didn't want this moment to end but the clock was ticking fast and the next day was waiting for us. So finally with disheartened heart we left for bed. Next day we got ready for morning Aarti and found Jonathan with dholak. He was performing the prayers and knew them by heart. I was struggling reading from book. His eyes were just on Devi maa and it was full of devotion. Then we left for kitchen where we had a sumptuous meal. Jonathan enjoyed it even though it was a little spicy for him. I later came to know that while relating his experiences, he kept getting choked. And thanked at the Devi Maa's Grace on him. After meeting him, I totally understand why he was chosen to do the role of a caretaker of the Ashram. He is one lucky man!!!

Love is such a beautiful thing..........

Yes, It is. You don't even know when and how it happens. Love sure gives a good feeling and starts creativity in you. So many emotions come up during its course which helps in exploring our real personality. Even though falling in love is so temporary everyone expects it to last long. That happens when you become Love itself then instead of falling in Love you Rise in Love. You see only one in all.

Life is a Journey.......

Looking back in the past we see so many incidents that have influenced our thinking process. Growing up we come across so many people who at that time seem to be so important but now are a faint memory. How much percent of those people do we really remember now. But that time it felt as if our lives revolve so much around them. That makes us wonder the people around us now do we really have to waste our energy thinking about them or just go along the life's journey and go with the flow wherever the events are taking us. How about just be in the present moment and do what is required in the most efficient way. All our energy would be then focussed in doing our stuff rather than wasting time on unnecessary things....

Video Games and kids

Kids are exposed to Video Games in such an early age. And all of them are showing the same violent scenes. What is it in them that captures their attention and get glued to it. How is it going to affect them in future is worth pondering. First of all their whole lot of time is getting spent and their creativity is getting lost. Even if one parent takes a strong stand and stops but that creates peer pressure and kids find another way to play. We all need to awaken and start a revolution against it.Lets think about their future and march on.

Being who really are!!!

Its not that difficult to be your usual self but everyone is trying to be someone different. They observe people around them whom they admire and be like them. Its like complicating our life more. Our nature which we are born with has come for a reason so just being that is not difficult. Since we are all different, thats the beauty God has made us. We need to appreciate ourselves and just be!